


That's The Spirit!

by aban_ataashi



Category: Pillars of Eternity
Genre: Gen, Halloween, Modern AU, just two doofuses looking for ghosts, multiple watchers, this was a halloween prompt but its not scary in the slightest, unsolved!au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-08-09 07:02:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16445081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aban_ataashi/pseuds/aban_ataashi
Summary: “It’s not breaking in if nobody lives here!” Desta dropped her voice an octave and said in a low, spooky tone, “But just because nobody lives here doesn’t mean it’s empty.”An Unsolved!AU where the Watchers spend Halloween night investigating a supposedly haunted mansion. It goes about as well as you might expect.





	That's The Spirit!

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Halloween!
> 
> I've always imagined that in a Modern AU, Desta would end up doing something weird like ghosthunting. And when considering who would be the Shane to her Ryan, I realized that I have another Watcher who is an argumentative, sarcastic non-believer. And thus the Unsolved!AU came about. Enjoy!

“This has got to be the stupidest thing we have ever done.”

“This is _far_ from the stupidest thing we’ve ever done.”

Rudi turned and raised an eyebrow at Desta. “What I mean,” Desta clarified, “is that this is not stupid. Kana knows what he’s talking about.”

“I’m not worried about whether Kana got the history right, I’m worried about the police showing up and arresting us. Especially since we’re about to take _video_ of us breaking in and then post it on the internet. I define that as pretty stupid.”

“It’s not breaking in if nobody lives here!” Desta dropped her voice an octave and said in a low, spooky tone, “But just because nobody _lives_ here doesn’t mean it’s empty.”

Rudi looked like she wanted to argue but wasn’t sure which point to start with. Desta took advantage of her hesitation and turned to face the camera. “Ready?”

“One moment,” Aloth said, fiddling with the controls. Rudi shook her head in resignation and positioned herself next to Desta. Desta wasn’t fooled; for all of Rudi’s griping and eye-rolling, she wouldn’t be here if she didn’t want to be. Desta doubted there was anyone, alive or dead, that could make Rudi do something she didn’t want to do.

Case in point- even though she was tapping her foot impatiently, Rudi couldn’t hide the smile on her face as she surveyed the insides of the mansion. The building was old, one of the oldest in town, and poorly cared for. Old, mismatched furniture littered the rooms and hallways, creating a cluttered maze-like environment caked in at least an inch of dust. Every now and then, a gust of wind would sneak through the holes in the roof or the cracked windows, sending a chill down Desta’s spine.

She wondered if Rudi felt the same strange chill. She must, because she kept pulling her thick red flannel tighter around herself, although she would probably say that was just the weather. But Aloth didn’t seem bothered; he wasn’t even wearing a jacket. Desta found it a little distracting, actually, but she also took it as a sign that perhaps the spirits were more focused on the two ghost-hunters. Perhaps tonight they would finally reveal themselves. It was Halloween, after all- what better timing could there be?

 “You know, if we wanted to,” Rudi said as her dark eyes swept over their surroundings, “we could set up a pretty sweet haunted house in here. We could actually make money and scare people, for a change.”

Desta threw her arms out, exasperated. “We’re in a literal _ghost mansion._ There are _real spirits_ here. How is this not better than bad acting and fake blood?”

“Bad acting and fake blood is entertaining. The ‘real spirits’ you think are there when you’re yelling at nothing…” Rudi considered her own words for a moment, then shrugged. “Well, I guess it’s still entertaining. But in a different way.”

“Save the banter for the show,” Aloth called. Rudi scowled at him, but Desta shot her the best _be nice_ look she could muster. They couldn’t afford to scare off the only person willing to act as cameraman for free.

To be honest, Desta was still a bit mystified by Aloth’s continued presence at their investigations. He claimed he was there to be a neutral presence, and yes, Desta and Rudi did have a tendency to go on rambling, argumentative tangents when left to their own devices. But it was still strange that he volunteered his free nights to follow them around with a camera and listen to them bicker about ghosts.

Whatever the reason, Desta was glad. Their first few videos had been taken on cellphones and were next to useless. She was still livid about the time that her phone had run out of memory right before a ghostly voice whispered in her ear. According to Rudi, Desta’s own account of the incident didn’t count as ‘proof’.

And it was just nice to have Aloth around. He at least listened to Desta’s theories without laughing. And despite the occasional nervous comment or look of trepidation, he hadn’t yet been scared off by the strange things they investigated.

At last, he lifted the camera and gave Desta a nod. “We’re ready.”

 

“Tonight, we’re investigating the infamous Maerwald Mansion, an abandoned home that’s seen more than its share of history- and if the rumors are true, some of that history is still around.”

Rudi watched quietly as Desta relayed the story to the camera. She’d heard the urban legend too many times by now for it to truly hold her interest, but Desta had a certain theatrical approach that was enjoyable to watch. Not as good as Kana’s original telling, of course, but they had to make do while he was away at grad school. And Desta had his same enthusiasm, especially tonight. She had even dyed her hair a striking green for the occasion. She thought it made her look ‘spooky’. But between the bright sunflower patches she’d sewn onto her denim jacket and the bright smile on her face as she told the story, even a set of devil horns wouldn’t make her _scary_ in the slightest.

“Maerwald was once a respected man in the city- heir to a great fortune, diplomat to visitors, advisor to just about every political figure on the scene. Until the day he mysteriously disappeared from society. According to accounts from the time, he stopped leaving the house completely. Rumors circulated that he had descended into madness, although no doctor was ever allowed inside the home. Food was brought in to him by the only servant he had not fired, and despite attempts to draw him out, this arrangement remained in place for months.”

“And then it got even weirder. The servant was seen entering the mansion one night- and was never seen again. People reported hearing strange, unnatural noises coming from inside the home. At last the police entered by force. But when they were finally entered the house…” Desta dropped her voice and spread her hands wide. “He had completely vanished. No trace of him was ever found. Since then, the house has passed through multiple hands, but every owner has encountered only misfortune and tragedy. Now it sits unused and empty- or so it would seem.”

Rudi fought not to roll her eyes at the last statement. This was why she didn’t do introductions- apparently, she always sounded ‘too sarcastic’. Desta, however, continued with a conviction that could only be genuine.

“Angry spirits have been reported to inhabit this house for decades. Countless incidents have been reported since Maerwald’s disappearance. We’re here to see if we can get one of those incidents on tape.”

“Look, there’s no big mystery here,” Rudi cut in. “This Maerwald dude was just a weird old guy who became a hermit and probably killed his servant.”

“And no bodies were ever found? How does a ‘weird old guy’ pull that off?”

“Maybe the police were lazy!” Desta scoffed, and Rudi held up her hands defensively. “It’s more believable than ‘ghosts got him’!”

“We’ll see if you’re still saying that by the end of the night,” Desta said, giving the camera a knowing smile. Rudi glanced toward the camera herself and shook her head. She knew how the night would end- they would see nothing, and Desta would still insist the place was full of spirits. At least the internet would get a laugh.

 

“Now, remember,” Desta said as the group entered the master bedroom. “The spirits in this house are supposed to particularly angry, especially in this room. We should still try a peaceful approach, of course, but we need to be prepared to defend ourselves if the need arises.”

“Sorry, I used my salt packet on the fries I had for lunch.”

Desta crossed her arms. “One day you’re going to get possessed, and you’ll think _oh, if only I had listened to Desta and made a salt circle before summoning that spirit!”_ She heard Rudi unsuccessfully try to stifle a laugh, and chose to ignore it. “Anyway, that’s not what I meant. Considering the strength of the spirits at play here, I took the liberty of bringing _this.”_

Desta reached into her duffel bag and with a flourish produced a metal baseball bat. Aloth raised a concerned eyebrow. Rudi burst into laughter.

“Are you planning to beat the shit out of a ghost with _a baseball bat?_ How does that even work?”

Desta bristled defensively. “It’s iron! Iron repels ghosts, that’s common knowledge.”

“I think that’s fairies,” Aloth stage whispered. Rudi dissolved into another fit of laughter.

“What? It’s ghosts, too, isn’t it?” Desta frowned and made a mental note to ask Kana the next time she saw him. “I swear, it works on ghosts, too. Ugh, this was so much cooler in my head. Maybe I should have just brought holy water…”

“No! This is great!” Rudi was beaming, her hands clasped together in delight. “Can I go get the brass knuckles from my car?”

“ _Iron!_ Brass knuckles wouldn’t work, and why the hell do you have them?!”

“Anniversary gift from Maia. And if you get a bat, I should get my knuckles. The only thing that might be enjoyable about meeting a ghost would be getting to fight it.”

“That’s not the point!” Desta protested. This was getting off track quickly- the whole point of this was to try and communicate with the spirits. “ _I_ have the bat because _you_ clearly want to start a fight. I want to try diplomacy first. This is just… backup.”

Desta knew she was in trouble from the way Rudi smirked. “No, no, you came prepared with a weapon. I think you want to fight the ghosts as much as I do.” She tilted her head back and cupped her hands around her mouth. “Hear, that ghouls? Desta’s ready to fuck you up!”

“No! You put that aggressive energy right back where it came from-”

“Too late! It’s out there, and you’re going to have to fend off Maerwald’s ghost with a baseball bat.” Rudi snorted and began to poke around the room, stopping occasionally to call out more insults into the air. A futile feeling began to creep over Desta as she watched her. Eventually, she turned and shook her head at Aloth.

“She’s going to get us killed.”

 

Nothing had jumped from the shadows to try and eat their souls yet, but Desta was still looking nervous and clutching her bat as they inspected the room. Rudi couldn’t suppress the occasional sarcastic remark that escaped when she glanced behind her and saw the other girl peering into the darkness with suspicion.

Desta could say whatever she wanted; Rudi knew the worst thing they’d find would be ugly furniture and splinters. Her flashlight swept over rotting floorboards, dusty shelves full of knick-knacks, and a large, rather imposing chair. The chair was admittedly kind of cool, and even a little creepy- it had a throne-like feel that wouldn’t be out of place in an old-fashioned vampire movie.

“Look at this,” Rudi said, motioning Aloth over. “You think Maerwald’s ghost would be mad if I sat in his chair?” She walked over, making to sit as Desta began to protest.

“Don’t touch the- _ah_!”

The high-pitched yelp rang out just as Rudi touched the chair, and she immediately leapt back up in alarm. Desta was, who had been moving forward to grab her, had stopped in her tracks. She had a flashlight in one hand and her bat in the other, and was pointing them both at a dusty marble bust. She brandished the bat as if it were a sword, readying herself against whatever spirits she thought were in the air. “It _moved!”_

“…What now?” Rudi asked.

Desta’s eyes didn’t leave the statue. “I _saw_ it. I swear to you, that head moved when I walked by.”

Now _that_ was a bold claim. Rudi approached the statue, swatting Desta’s bat out of the way. She peered closely at it, but didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. Just a marble bust- a woman, Rudi thought, although it was hard to be certain through the wear and tear. The inscription was chipped and caked in dust, and Rudi could only make a few letters.

All in all, a totally normal thing to find in a decrepit mansion. “I think your imagination ran away with you on this one.”

“No! No it did not! We can review the footage later, that head is in a different position- _don’t touch it!”_

Rudi tapped the side of the statue’s head. It was cold and solid and certainly not capable of movement. “Seriously, Desta, you’re losing it.”

But Desta remained insistent, hovering near the statue and asking it a few questions about the house. No answers came, of course, but she was still didn’t take her eyes off of it until they moved on and left the room.

 

Desta had her proof that the spirits in this house were active, and Rudi not believing her didn’t change that. But after her encounter with the statue, they seemed subdued. The only other startling thing that happened that night was when Rudi opened an old cabinet and inadvertently disturbed a nest that was housing approximately a million spiders. Not supernatural, but it was a bit gratifying to hear Rudi’s scream.

Still, the lost potential of the statue stung. What they needed were those fancy helmet-cams, so she wouldn’t keep having these misses. But those were expensive, and besides, she liked having Aloth around as their cameraman.

“You believe me about the statue, right?” she asked him later that night as they packed up the camera equipment together.

His looked reluctant as he considered his answer. “I believe you thought you saw something,” he said finally, as diplomatically as possible.

“Aw, come on!”

He shrugged apologetically. “It’s difficult to believe that the laws of physics were inexplicably broken without some sort of evidence towards it. Maybe you saw something, but it’s not necessarily a supernatural sighting.”

“So you’re on Rudi’s side, then.”

“Well, no.” He paused, as if ruminating on his next words. “I’ve experienced… strange things, myself. I’m sure there are things in the world that we can’t understand or explain. But I would like better support for it than possible glimpses of moving statues.”

Desta mused over that thought. “Okay, fine. We didn’t get it on tape, so there’s plausible deniability as far as proof goes. Maybe we should go the more ‘scientific’ route. EMF’s, temperature measurements, that sort of thing. How much would it cost to get our hands on those?”

“Perhaps we can borrow some. I’m sure Ydwin has equipment like that.”

“Really?”

“Well, you’ve met her. Do you think that she _doesn’t?”_

“Fair enough. Although you should let me ask her- I’m pretty sure she’s still holding a grudge for that weird thesis dispute you two had.”

“…Fair enough.”

Desta grinned and playfully bumped her shoulder against Aloth’s. “Look at us! Our little show is getting professional! You and I should partner up against Rudi- you attack on the science side, I attack on the spirit side. We’d be unstoppable!”

A blush colored Aloths cheeks, and Desta remembered that he could be a bit camera-shy. She quickly added, “But you don’t have to if you don’t want to! A behind-the-scenes science expert is just as good!”

Aloth’s ears were still red, but he shrugged and said, “ _Perhaps_ I could make a guest appearance.”

 

Rudi watched Desta and Aloth from across the room, trying not to make retching noises at the cheesy scene the two were putting on. Desta was very good at seeing ghosts and ghouls that weren’t there, but was apparently blind to the obvious signs right in front of her. There was a reason Aloth kept volunteering for these investigations, and it was the same reason he wasn’t wearing a jacket tonight, despite the chill in the air. Wouldn’t want to hide those arms from Desta, would he? From the not-so-subtle looks Desta kept shooting his way, the desired effect had been achieved.

If only one of them would actually _do_ something about it.

A buzzing in Rudi’s pocket alerted her to a new text. She fished her phone out and grinned when she saw the new message from Maia.

_Movies and popcorn are ready and waiting. Bust any ghosts yet?_

Rudi typed out a quick reply. _No ghosts, but I did meet a lovely demonic spirit that wants to possess my mortal body for nefarious purposes._

A momentary pause, as three dots popped onto the screen. _That’s kinda hot._

Rudi laughed out loud to herself, and went to tell the two lovebirds to hurry up. They could continue their oblivious flirting later; Rudi had a night of watching horror movies and spooning with her girlfriend to get to.

As she approached, Desta gave her a scheming look, and Rudi knew immediately that she wouldn’t like what Desta was about to say next.

“Rudi, have you ever heard of this thing called a ‘spirit box’?”


End file.
